shitty day. pc of pizza, hummus, chocolate soy milk, low fat burrito. the good news is i finally got a job, hence the euphoric eating. im restricting to 200 cals or less tom, for at least a week. hope everyone else is doing better than i am.
<3

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: deathcab

my urge to binge just woke me up out of a dead sleep. im not even kidding, what is wrong with me. i want to eat everything in sight. i just smoked a cig out the bathroom window as to not wake my roomates, and ate 5 baby carrots. im still wide awake, when i should be sleeping bc i hvnt been sleeping as of late, and when i do sleep its during the day which just makes me feel like a lazy waste. i wish i could just be normal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QT2noW45cOY


<33

Current Mood: bored

tea
banana yogurt with a little sugarfree chocolate syrup

my anxiety is at an all time high, ive been so stressed out it distracting. i really just need everything to be fine. crap im taking something and going to bed bc being awake sucks. maybe tom will be better.

i binged really bad...like too bad to list
my ex stopped by w his new super hot, super skinny MODEL gf
and i still dont have a job
or a bf, im not usually one of those girls who whines about being alone, but today it just sucks
worst fucking day

Current Mood: depressed

2 cups black coffee
1 cup peppemint tea
1/2 banana
steamed veggies

i wish ididnt feel like shit rt now
and that everything didnt suck
fyi

Current Mood: pessimistic
Current Music: the roots

so yesterday i did really well, half of a mini bagel with pb and a tea. then we had a party at my house and all hell broke loose, two games of beer pong, and four glasses of wine later i was eating hummus and pita chips, and then at 5am a cup of noodles. wtf. the good news is we didnt go to bed till 11 this morning soijust woke up and havent eaten all day. i just ordered some miso soup and after that i think im just gonna take something and go back to sleep.
<33

Current Mood: bitchy

ok so the good news is i did really well today i had aricecake with pb and 1/2 of a banana, a dannon lite n fit yogurt and an apple. i was finally able to have that lightheaded feeling all day, which i hadnt had in so long.
the bad news is that that feeling makes me want to do things i shouldnt want to do, long story short i called my ex to come over, we had a fabulous fuck, then i made him leave. the good news is ill prob feel like such crap tom i wont even want to eat anything. im incapable of healthy relationships, or any relationships at all i think...whatever i guess
its finally snowing that makes me really happy
on that note im gonna try to get some sleep
goodnight luv-lies

Current Mood: numb
Current Music: hellogoodbye

mother fucker
i got all wasted and everyone was at my house alldrunk like why dont you eat feeding their fat mothslike fatties with pizza like why dont you eat and the boy imall h/u is like you need to eat yourall drowsy so he made me a mini bagel w margerine and then another and i just ate them bc i jst wanted them to shut up nd i want to throw it up so bad but i have all these motherfukers inmy house
iwant to scream
f that im taking a xanax and going to bed

Current Mood: drunk

ok so im basically using this journal as a food diary. im also looking to meet friends who accept me for what i am, ed and all. a little aout me, im 20 years old and from ny. i just moved out of my ouse and now share an apartment with two roomates. this makes my life easier in many aspects. this journal is basically just a release and hopefully will stay a secret from everyone i know. feel free to friend me, or whatever.
basically today ive done well so far i only had a cup of black coffee, an apple, a half of a tortilla with a little hummus, and a lean cuisine, and im done for the day. im having people over tonight but my plan is to stick to vodka tonics and avoid any high cal crap.